i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
