it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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