you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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