ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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