found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dignity is for republicans.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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