I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
