Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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