hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
