getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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