Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
