You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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