It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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