P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
