No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
