How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
