Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Your penis caused this!
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