DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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