but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
