Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
