they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
