i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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