we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
