I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
