my sisters under your porch take her home
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
they call him Oral-B. enough said
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
