I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
