people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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