Have you finally orgasmed yet?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
