If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you inspire me to be a worse person
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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