I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
