why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
