I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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