YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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