Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
