its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
