I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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I need you to use more vowels.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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