So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
