I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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