apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I still have a little drunk in my system
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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