He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
