I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
