So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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