I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
