I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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