We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
