really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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