drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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