Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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