i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
