i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
