I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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