I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
