remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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