then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
