I take back everything I said about communal showers
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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