found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
