say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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