the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
